I'd Rather Be A Stripper....

A couple of months ago, I found myself in quite the predicament with #4. Actually, I'm still in it. She began having some issues concerning friends, in and out of school. As a female, this is something that shouldn't be that foreign to me. As a mother, it is. My oldest three children are of the male species, and let me tell 'ya, there is a huge difference between raising boys and girls that is so much more than just badingadings and hoo-hoos. 

I've been doing this mom gig for almost fifteen years, and this is the first time in that decade and a half that I've been confronted with such issues that have never (at least for me) occurred while raising the boys. In a nutshell? Drama. Preteen, angst-riddled drama. To be honest? Cattiness. 

Trust me, #4 gives as good as she gets. But holy PMS, Batman! Little ladies these days surely know how to bring it. Since this school year commenced, I've began to dish out cheese to accompany the whines about everything from "She is soooo skinny, but so-and-so said she was fat" to "Insert-random-name-here said she can only be friends with people who wear Hollister". The best part about that last one is that the school just implemented a strict dress code that allows no labels of any kind. So unless they're showing each other their undies in the bathroom, how the hell does it even factor in?


Like I said, my kid is no saint. She'd like me to think that she is, and I love her dearly. But I'm not retarded. However, I can not fathom the justification behind a comment made to her by a fellow grade-mate. I've chosen to address it here, publicly, because not only does my "open book" policy include my own kids, as well as those who read this blog (EllieB43 never held anything back from me about her own life, and she was dead on accurate when she said that rule #1 as a parent is never lie to your kid), but hopefully it will clear the air in terms of grown-up's and half-truths. 


Here in the Skook, people can be infamous for spreading rumors about others. Some have an innate ability to hone their fairy tales really well, and hide behind their own children as the cause for spreading them. I know, right? Sad, but true. Now it's time to clear the air. 

Just before Thanksgiving break, #4 came home from school one day, totally beside herself with anger. I asked her what was up, and of course, she said it was nothing. I pried until she finally gave, and I gotta say, her anger was not unwarranted. 


"When I got on the bus to come home, Sally Shouldshutherfuckingmouth was telling everyone '#4's mom is a stripper', and everyone kept asking me if it was true".

Ask, and you shall receive. Was it true? Why lie? And especially, why lie to your child? They're only going to eventually find out, and hate you for it. So I told her...

Truth is, I'm a stay-at-home-mom. I'm a transcriptionist by trade. I'm a writer. I also work part-time for a globally known company. And back in the day, yes, I did work at an area gentleman's establishment. No, I will not disclose which one. Details are not necessary. It was for a short amount of time. The only thing I ever exchanged with a customer was money. And it made for a far better living than waiting on drunks at the local six pack store. I did it to pay the rent and feed my kids during a period of time in which it was required, and I would do it again if I had to. I'm not ashamed of it in the least. And neither should my daughter be made to be. 


Yeah, I said it. In damn near those exact words. You might look at me differently now. You might think "What kind of mother does that?". But what kind of mother slams another to her ten year old daughter? 


Truth is, cattiness in preteen girls comes from somewhere, not just out of thin air. Children learn by example. For whatever reason, women feel the need to criticize other women's maternal capabilities, and that's just fucked up. It doesn't make you any better a parent than anyone else. It just makes you shallow. And one day, that will not be a mannerism you're going to appreciate in your own daughter...



share on: facebook