Progress and Predictions....

I realize that the photo above might look like a whole lot of randomness, but to us, it is the best gift we never knew we wanted. Until now, Little Bird's vent pressures have never been below twenty. Even though seven seems to be her limit for the time being, I'll take it. For the past three days, her respiratory team has been attempting to dip it even lower, in hopes that she can tolerate it. Although, technically, she can. She's gone as low as five. But it doesn't leave her with a whole lot of energy to do much else, including bottle feed. The energy she exerts to breathe at this reduced level interferes with her ability to eat. So, for now, she's holding steady at seven, which is so much more than I could have ever hoped for. Speaking of eating, she's been chowing down like a champion, and taking anywhere from an ounce and a half to two ounces by mouth every four hours. This is half of every meal for her, and at this rate, she will continue to gain and grow, and make even more strides toward coming off of the ventilator.

Blueberry Eyes

Such A Little Busy Body!

Half Yawn...Half Smile

Enthralled With The Fish On Her Ceiling

...And Very, Very Content!

She Smells Like Heaven

...And Has The Face Of An Angel...

Curious About Everything!

The Camera Loves Her!

Beauty Sleep

I Wonder What She Thinks About

"Ha! Ha! I Got My Hand Out Of The Blankies!"

When You See It, Bricks Will Be Shat...

Never Let Go

"Really?!?! *Gasp!*"

"Get Out Of Town!"

What Do Babies Dream Of?

Rockin' A Killer Ponytail

Trying Not To Laugh!

"Oh Haaiii, Siss-ay!"

 Christmas was kind to our family. We knew and expected it to be emotionally difficult, and I can't lie. It was. And a lot more than what we were prepared for. Never have I ever simply gone thru the motions of a holiday like I had this particular one. Decorating. Shopping. Baking. Wrapping. All of it felt very much like a chore. I had to constantly remind myself that Little Bird didn't realize the difference. To her, it was any other given day. For that, I am thankful. But even though I wished I could have been as oblivious, we were in a much better place than what I know we could have been. It could always be worse, and I'm grateful for my daughter's progress.

I certainly don't want her to grow too quickly, even though I pray for the days to pass as fast as possible. The sooner she can be here, at home, the better. It's so unnatural. But then again, every aspect of the last one hundred and seventy three days has been. Like an effed up version of The Curious Case of Benjamen Button. The faster she ages, the healthier she will become. The new year is upon us now, and who knows what it might bring. If you would have told me, twelve months ago, that this is what the future held for my family, I would have laughed at you. I'd like to imagine that by next Christmas, Little Bird will be off of the ventilator, and the trach will be gone, too. I'd like to think that she'll be walking, and laughing, and tangling herself up in ribbon as she discards all of her toys for the boxes, instead. I want to foresee her flipping spoonfuls of mashed potatoes at her siblings across the dinner table, and us laughing when we catch her feeding her peas to her puppy. Maybe, in a year from today, I'll look back on this post and be pleasantly surprised. I can't predict what 2012 has in store for us, but I can hope.

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