Anyone out there with a toddler, raise your hand! Aren't they interesting as shit? I have the pleasure of spending the majority of my days with #5. I know a lot of moms that yearn for some adult conversation after a long day of deciphering toddler-ease. Maybe I was dropped on my head when I was a baby, but I'm kind of the opposite these days. I've come to realize, especially during the past couple of months, that I'd prefer to dialogue with my three year old. She's a hell of a listener. She understands. Understanding her, on the other hand, well....
For instance, one of her favorite shirts portrays a picture of a chocolate chip cookie, with the word "tough" printed in bold letters above it. It makes sense that she'd offer me one of her tough cookies during her afternoon snack. She's just now entering the stage of "mine". Everything is "mine". Not hers, not yours. Not "my". But mine. As in "Mine sissy is at schoooool two-day". Or "Mine tough cookie is goooood." Not to be confused with mine-mine, such as "I got dese sickers from Sissy's bedwoom. Dese im's mine!". That's a whole other blog post, folks. Her haphazard outbursts in the midst of a crowded grocery store ("Ha! Ha! I fah-ted!") tend to render some odd facial expressions from strangers, but she's nothing if she isn't real. Sometimes, she can be incredibly insightful. Like the time she rose from her after-dinner nap and told me all about what I thought was a pacaroni and sheets fueled delusion. But I was so wrong. She really did swallow that penny.
She also in that stage where she likes to repeat. Everything. Twice. It's akin to living with Vincent Twice Vincent Twice from Sesame Street with a pinch of Chris Rock. I recognize that this is a direct result of the certain four letter words that I have a tendency to sprinkle amongst grown-up discussions. What can I say? I'm workin' on it. Potty-mouth-training should be included in all that useless parenting literature. Isn't it ironic how they never seem to repeat the child friendly versions of the bad words? Like buttocks. Or urinate. Still, I have to admit that hearing an unexpected f-bomb from a little one with the accent of an immigrant is pretty fucking funny.
One day soon, that little bit of awesomeness will be outgrown, and her random annunciations and proverbs will be articulated no more. In the meantime, I'm going to continue to cherish every garbled syllable that crosses her lips. It makes you really, really appreciate what Willis' been talkin' 'bout. We were all her age at one time. Relating to the way she looks at the world isn't that difficult. Not if you take the time to view life thru her eyes. That, and overlooking the constipated pronunciation of her words. Yeah, she does speak like Great Uncle Felix after Thanksgiving dinner, but I'm hopeful that just like the penny, that too shall pass.
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xD @ "haha I fah-ted" LMFAO I love that kid! And I remember the cookie shirt! She's so adorable even when she gets on your nerves. I love when you write about her because I can actually picture her doing and saying those things and it makes it so much more funnier!!
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